I'm at work at the moment and listening to Spotify... And I just have to say... Ed Sheeran's song Small Bump makes me want another baby so badly.
I adore babies. Especially the ones I make.
I know that it was the best decision to choose not to have more... And I don't regret it.
Practically.
Financially.
But the emotional, motherlove area of my heart just yearns... Pines... Cries out to have another baby. I adored being pregnant with both of my babies. Feeling like a superhero. Knowing I was doing something no one else could... And that is growing the most perfect baby for our family. Feeling them wiggle and squirm. Talking to them both as though they were already here. Giving them a life before they were born. Introducing them to the voices and noises of their soon to be world.
Then when I had those babies... Oh golly. Nothing beats that feeling.
Not jumping out of an airplane.
Not marrying my Husband-Man (hope that doesn't hurt his feelings... But I'm pretty sure he'll get it)
Nothing at all can top hearing the cries of that small bump brought to life.
Nothing.
Nursing them.
Cuddling them.
Smoothing lotion on sweet and soft skin.
Tickling toes.
Smooching soft cheeks.
Gazing at the small perfection of eyelashes, fingernails smaller than grains of rice, sweet smiles, the smell of their breath... All of it so, freaking precious.
Every moment.
And I'm sad (for the moment only) because I'll never experience that again.
I'll get over this in ten minutes or so. But at the moment... After just listening to his song... I'm sad.
If you're pregnant, treasure it. The swollen ankles. The discomfort. All of it. And know that I would gladly trade places with you... For the moment.
If you just had a baby... Smooch that sweetie as often as you can. I mean it... Kiss the skin off their hands and toes and cheeks. Get their bellies and pat their bottoms.
I envy all of you. So much.
"Small Bump"
You're just a small bump unborn, in four months you're brought to life,
You might be left with my hair, but you'll have your mother's eyes,
I'll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can,
But for now you're scan of my unmade plans,
[album version:] A small bump in four months you're brought to life
[acoustic version:] A small bump in four months you'll open your eyes
[album version:] I'll whisper quietly, I'll give you nothing but truth,
[acoustic version:] I'll hold you tightly, I'll give you nothing but truth,
If you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you
[Chorus:]
You are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
Oh, you are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
And you'll be alright.
Oh, you're just a small bump unknown, you'll grow into your skin.
With a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin.
Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice,
And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide
A small bump, in four months you'll open your eyes.
[album version:] And I'll hold you tightly, I'll tell you nothing but truth,
[acoustic version:] And I'll hold you tightly, I'll give you nothing but truth,
If you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you
[Chorus:]
You are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
Oh, you are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
And you'll be alright.
[Bridge:]
And you can lie with me,
With your tiny feet
When you're half asleep,
I'll leave you be.
Right in front of me
For a couple weeks
So I can keep you safe.
[Chorus:]
'Cause you are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
You are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
And you'll be alright.
'Cause you were just a small bump unborn for four months then torn from life.
Maybe you were needed up there but we're still unaware as why.
